Confusion

refers to the state I am in.

I finished my internship/work experience a week ago and I was so gung-ho going back to school after what I've learned in that two months of working with L and S. And I did learn a lot. I learned that I would never be a patternmaker nor a dressmaker since my skills on those really suck. I already knew that before hand but it got confirmed when I did my internship. At L's, I got relegated to quality control which wasn't bad. I learned to spot the mistakes and things that needed mending. At S', I learned how to control my grip when using the plain sewer and the overlocker/babylocker. I even got to use the electric cutter in cutting fabric. Now thaat was cool.

Then when I finally got around to looking at the briefs for this year, I started having panic attacks. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to leave the house. I literally wanted to just shut myself from the world. I have 4 subjects this year. One is for the signature collection, which would take 2 days a week. Another subject which would take two days a week is Fashion Business, where I'm assuming we'd be learning all about how to establish and run a business) and the remaining day would be taken up by Millinery (half day) and Design and Product Development (half day). In short, it'll be another 5 days a week of 10 am to 5 pm (officially) which unofficially meant 9 am to possibly 7 pm.

The schedule and the fact that I'd be seeing and dealing with the same group of people have been causing me to stress out. It's not that I don't like these people but there are some who I am not happy to see. Last year, there was too much drama. And I hated it. Some of my classmates who are my friends share the sentiment. We've actually decided on a solution which was to fill our mp3 players with songs, focus on work and tune out the class.

But I don't think that's enough for me. I'm thinking of deferring some of my classes not only for said reason but also because I want to make sure I have enough time to learn what I want to learn. I just don't understand cramming everything at once and thinking that that's the way to learn. I'm also thinking of going on futher internship or work experience (whatever they'd call it) and for that I need available days. So I'll be talking to the person in charge of the deferment in school next week and hopefully they'd approve.

@ Work

Aside from interning at L's, I have decided to do work experience at S. So now, I work two days a week at S and two days a week at L's. S' is more of a factory setting. He has a small shop out front where he sells fabrics (he used to sell pjs and other sleepwear) and he has a factory out back. With S, I do various stuff, such as doing pattern, cutting fabric, selling fabric, attending to customer enquiries and sewing. It's not a design house so there are no mood boards or range plans but he does the manufacturing of garments of some of the labels sold in Australia or exported to other countries.

At L's, I did two toiles (one was sewn very badly due to the fact that I have no love lost with overlockers particularly overlocking knits), gave my opinion on and even modeled his designs, did quality control, and assisted in packing his garments for delivery.

For some reason, I find it more exciting working there. It's more laidback for some reason even though I do more compared to what I do at L's. Then again, it's probably because of the time. With L's I work from afternoon to evening where my energy level is on the wane whereas I work from morning to afternoon at S.

Anyway, I'm just grateful that I'm given these opportunities to work and to learn from these people.